Do you remember in one of my posts where i was talking about Ocarina of Time: Master Quest? Well i beat it... yesterday... two days ago? Anyways, yesterday when i came home from school i saw an issue of GameInformer Magazine sitting on the island, so i picked it up and skimmed through the pages. I don't even know why we get it, i don't remember anyone subscribing to it... Back to the story: it's not like i'm actually up to date on the current video games and consoles, i mean, we ("we" meaning me and my siblings) have a PlayStation 1, 2, a GameCube and we just got PlayStation 3 for Christmas. Our grandparents have a Wii that they bought for us to play on when we went to their house, and they actually play it too, and we have Nintendo DSs. (Well... 3DSs)
We don't have an Xbox or constant access to a Wii and we don't have much knowledge about the PS 3. My sister wants us to agree to sell the other consoles and games so we can have a ton of money to buy games. Our PS 2 doesn't work unless we have the GameCube sitting on top of it, they don't make games for the GameCube anymore, and our PS 1? We have two games for it: A Bug's Life, and Rayman. We've never won either of them because we don't have a memory card for the PS 1, so in Bug's Life, when you die, you die for good and have to start the game over again, which also happens when you quit and/or turn the console off. It's the same for Rayman and we also can't get past this one level. Something funny though is that on the back of the instruction manual for Rayman is an ad for a game and it says in big exciting letters: COMING IN 1997! I can just imagine a bunch of people reading it and saying: I can't wait! It's going to take forever! Well, as i was saying, it would probably be the smartest thing to sell them, but it's just that... i don't want to! One day when our dog was a puppy she chewed on a memory card and dented it and made it so it wouldn't fit in the GameCube anymore. We were so devastated because we lost all our hard work! No imagine that, but with everything you've ever done! Some days i'm sitting around and i suddenly want to play something, but what if we sold the games and i realize that i'll never be able to play it again because no one makes them anymore and i doubt we'll ever buy another old console ever again and my game would probably be erased by whoever bought it. Horrible! i've been playing those games ever since i was little! Even the violent ones!
My sister never plays games though, so i bet she really doesn't see what the big deal is.
Okay, i've strayed from what i was going to make this post about, i just felt like adding that as a side note, but it took longer than i thought.
So this was going to be about how after reading thoroughly through the magazine yesterday i saw that Ocarina Of Time was in some of the "Best" categories. It think it was Best Re-Issue. (OOT was first released in 1998, the 3DS version has the better graphics, 3D option, redesigned menu and game play screen, and the included Master Quest option.) And another LOZ game, Skyward Sword, for Wii, was in some of the "Best" categories, and one of the characters even made it onto the Top Ten Dorks countdown. Happy Day!
I've only played two Zelda games, out of the Sixteen ever made, even though some are for GameBoys and N64's. (Technically i can say that i've played three because Ocarina of Time is on there twice.) My first was Phantom Hourglass and when i decided to buy it, i had no idea of the whole franchise. I wanted it because, you know how in the game stores they'll have a console set up with a game in it for you to try out? Well Phantom Hourglass was set up and i thought it looked cool so i played it and i liked it enough to ask my mom to buy it for me. The whole game was very confusing, and at times, challenging. It's like the makers expect you to use common sense and remember everything single thing, word by word, that was said.
For example (and this is just and example, i didn't have trouble with this) When you get the grappling hook, it says that it brings small objects to you, and you to large objects. So you're in the Ice Temple and you see the chest that contains the Boss Key off in the distance, and there are zero switches for you to hit, zero switches to step on, and zero eyes for you to shoot with your bow that would make a bridge fall down for you. So you get frustrated, try to jump the gap a couple times and fall to your doom, you get angry and hit the chest with your boomerang, maybe even shoot a couple arrows at it, and finally, because you've ran out other option, you pull out the grappling hook and aim it at that stupid chest, and behold, it pops up that you can grapple to it.
FacePalm moment
So then you release the button and you're quickly whooshed over to the chest, you get that dumb Boss Key, and after 30 minutes and maybe an internet walk through later, you're on your way to the Boss Door.
Things that i've had trouble with was getting over this one gap in the beginning of the Wind Temple (I think it was called the Wind Temple... it's on the Isle Of Gust.) What i had to do, after what i think was a month of trying to figure out what to do and finally caving in and going to the internet, was push and pull this fan like wind blower a couple inches to the right and push it a centimeter forwards so i could use the air to blow me over the gap.
This one other thing was really stupid: I was collecting pure metals to make a sword that could destroy the main baddie: Bellum. I made to the end of the dungeon/temple and was all like: yay! I can make the dumb sword now! ... and i left without taking the metal off the pedestal. I was so confused why the blacksmith, Zaus, kept pretty much saying that he couldn't make the sword for me yet. I re-went through that freaking dungeon and there on the pedestal is sitting the stupid shining metal. After i won the game i made a new file and once i got to where this happened i looked at it and i still wonder to this day, how i could have missed it! It was this red sparkling thing right in front of where i had to talk to this ghost. I guess that i guessed that the ghost gave it to me and that i could leave... but... i just don't know.
I also lost my swearing virginity to Ocarina Of Time. I was in the Water Temple and what i had to do was: First, fall onto this moving platform. In front of me was this big waterfall and all over it were to little platforms that i could get to by using my Hookshot/Longshot, which sorta works like the grappling hook. I realize that i can just add in picture to give you a better idea of what was going on here.
So this is what the Hookshot/Longshot looks like:
These aren't the only spots I can Hookshot to. I can also do so on anything climbable, like an ivy trellis found in the forest temple and surrounding areas, and on convenient looking tree branches. The Hookshot can also paralyze enemies for a short amount of time, can kill some enemies, and is the only weapon i can use underwater. It's a multi-talented object.
Anyways, after hitting the crystal switch with an arrow or the Hookshot all these little mini Hookshot towers pop up all over the waterfall:
Here's the door on the other side, which is the goal:
It's the little red rectangle in the orange box. The big red and green thing is decoration because the Water Temple has this Chinese and/or Japanese vibe going on and there's a lot of dragon statues and swirly designs. The silver-blue panels are also part of the decor.
Now, it looks like all we have to do is Hookshot from little tower to little tower. Easy right? After coming to it, just push up on the circle pad, climb to the top, and shoot to the next one.
So just aim:
Release:
And fall to your freaking doom:
Wait a second! That's not supposed to happen!
Okay wait... maybe we Hookshot-ted wrong on an angle and Link couldn't grab the edge. Let's just try again, Rome wasn't built in a day, right?Okay, so aim, shoot, grab....
aim, shoot, grab...
aim, shoot, grab...
Aim!
Shoot!
And:
Ah! Come! Freaking! On!
Aim! Shoot! Ugg! No! Don't Die!
Then for the next five minutes:
Aim! Shoot! Die!
Aim! Shoot! Die!
Aim! Shoot! Die!
Come on!
Aim! Shoot! Die!
Aim! Shoot! Die!
Aim!
Shoot!
And:
"Ah! What the freak! Come on! All you had to do was hold onto the ledge and get over the frickin' waterfall! And what do you do? Fall down into an frickin' abyss ten frickin' times in a row! There was enough space for you to climb up, but you just fall frickin' off! What kind of a Hero of Time are you if you can't even make it over a freakin' waterfall!?"
etc., etc.
Being a smart gamer, i make sure i have at least, at least, zero potions in my inventory to heal myself in case of an emergency. And i made sure that before attempting this dangerous stunt, i let all of my healing fairies free... you know... because i didn't want them to get hurt...
By now I would screaming my head off and be so frustrated that i would be ready to throw my 3DS across my room. To tell you the truth, i think i was laughing the whole time. It's hilarious when Link falls off a tall object because he screams the whole way down. Sometimes i jump off stuff just to hear to scream like a little girl.
But, anyways, I was still a little bit frustrated.
So i let the game re-start at the beginning of the temple, i went five feet to the door and i saw the accursed waterfall. I went up and down on the platform a bit as i looked over the mini towers and started to formulate a plan. When i would be taken to a tower i would slide down the waterfall and into an abyss, so i then noticed these two towers were vertical to each other:
Alright so one more time!
Aim!
Shoot!
And!
Yeah boooooooy!
So by now i'm wondering how to advance on this and see the two most upper towers look like they're stacked on each other. So I... (say it with me now!)
Aim!
Shoot!
And!
F*** no, Link!
Five seconds pass, i freeze, and realize what i just did.
I just freaking lost my swearing virginity, and what's worse? I lost it and didn't even realize it until five seconds later!
I just unintentionally swore! I said it and wasn't even trying to! It's like taking your hand off the hot stove, you just do it without thinking: hmm, maybe i should quickly pull my hand away in the next second to avoid horrible scarring and burns.
I didn't even say it aggressively! I sort of whispered it like i was saying: Come one Link, what are you doing, dude?
I always thought i would lose on my only enemy in the school, #McKayla, (a good bit of you know who i'm talking about there, am i right?) or that one creepy guy, #Rodey.
On many instances during Gym class i was preparing to yell to McKayla, who always seemed to be on my team for volleyball, and i mean always: I think I speak for everyone here when i say STFU.
She would always just... yell and scream whenever she hit the ball in some weird way, and not in the funny Link way, noooo, in the annoying crying baby kind of way. The way that just makes you want to scream on the top of your lungs STFU! No one cares! NO ONE! I am so glad that gym class is over!
I guess i have three swearing virginities in all:
mind swearing
private swearing
public swearing
I lost the first two. I lost the first one a while ago; first it was just song lyrics, really feebly, then i would just belt them in my mind, and now if you were to listen to my thoughts when in was angry you would think i was trying to write lyrics for Eminem.
Then I lost the second, as you read. I realize that i could have just summed it up for you, but where's the fun in that? Now i bet you're wondering how i beat the freakin' waterfall, aren't you?
Well maybe you aren't and are really bored right now, but that's just too bad you, you're the one who wanted to read this.
Well you know those blue-silver panels near the door that i said were just decor?:
Well they aren't. Actually the left one is, the right one isn't. I'm just happy that i actually did advance in this room, i was supposed to go to the mini tower that i was standing on . When I got on it, my guardian fairy, Navi, the most annoying yet helpful but also annoying thing in the world, flew up to the panel, yelled "Hey" in my face, and turned green. This actually happens a lot with Navi, she just turns green at the most random of times, and usually i can't find anything of help. I recently learned that Navi is girl... i thought she was a boy so, my whole world is shattered...
Anyways, green fairy:
I decided to be nice and put a green box and i darkened Navi in, so you can see him.... her. These panels are all around this temple. When you hit them most of the time, a bundle of arrows will pop up, or a healing fairy that you can capture will fly out, but in this instance:
Ta-Freaking-Da!
It took us all long enough to get to this point, correct?
The annoying beeping in the back round is Link's heart meter, which was running low, thanks to falling down a waterfall so many freaking times.
Isn't it just a beautiful touch to have Navi fly in front of the camera in the end?
Just wonderus.
This isn't even what this post was going to be about, it was going to be about Final Fantasy and how after reading GameInformer and seeing all the awesome pure gameage i wanted to play something violent and fanatical. Then i was going to go on about my opinion of it, what confuses me, my view, the part i'm stuck on, etc., etc. but i think this is enough for one post... more than enough for one post.
enough for five posts.
Well, this is Unicorn Slayer goodbye, goodnight (it's 1:45 AM right now) and also saying:
(he's not dead... he's just really tired... five minutes later... if we believe in him, he'll come back to life right? or is that just tinker bell... well, i've heard people think he looks like Peter Pan... so it might work... right... guys...? )
#= Name has been changed
Unicorn Slayer
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